Legal Defense: A History
Legal Defense: A History
Legal Defense: A History
by HaV3n<CP>
I will soon pursue my dream of articulating the intricacies of navigating EA117 law, both as a native citizen, and as a foreign national. I bring a rich diversity of experience as both, being both HaV3n, and HaV3n<CP>.
This thread will contain sneak peaks at some of the rich juridical prose that will fill this forthcoming legal tome. It will also contain several color photographs from the author's life. (my life)
Artist's Representation of HaV3n<CP>
by HaV3n<CP>
I will soon pursue my dream of articulating the intricacies of navigating EA117 law, both as a native citizen, and as a foreign national. I bring a rich diversity of experience as both, being both HaV3n, and HaV3n<CP>.
This thread will contain sneak peaks at some of the rich juridical prose that will fill this forthcoming legal tome. It will also contain several color photographs from the author's life. (my life)
Artist's Representation of HaV3n<CP>
- Sarge 1/68th Armor
- Member
- Posts: 2429
- Joined: July 10th, 2010, 5:34 pm
- Location: Cedar City, Utah
Re: Legal Defense: A History
Looks like another pussy.
'Silver Lions" 1st Battalion, 68th Armor Regiment, 8th Infantry Division/
SFC. TANK CDR. M1A1....HUA!
With Great Speed
Re: Legal Defense: A History
Chapter 1: Overcoming the Prejudice in My Life
Last edited by Hav3n on January 7th, 2014, 1:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Legal Defense: A History
Your observation is only partially correct. That right there is one fine pussy. Educated in the judicial ways, and always tendering swift and noble counsel.Sarge wrote:Looks like another pussy.
- Swanny-CG
- Retired Admin
- Posts: 1962
- Joined: December 15th, 2008, 9:48 am
- Location: Bay Area, California
Re: Legal Defense: A History
I didn't realize you were prejudiced.Hav3n wrote:Chapter 1: Overcoming the Prejudice in My Life
- Nightstalker
- Retired Admin
- Posts: 4624
- Joined: February 7th, 2010, 9:29 pm
Re: Legal Defense: A History
Admitting is the first step to recovery.
God bless the past and present men and women in uniform.
Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives. This is Nightstalker and this is EA117.
Re: Legal Defense: A History
Chapter 2: Overcoming the Sarcasm of the WorldSwanny-CG wrote:I didn't realize you were prejudiced.Hav3n wrote:Chapter 1: Overcoming the Prejudice in My Life
- Sarge 1/68th Armor
- Member
- Posts: 2429
- Joined: July 10th, 2010, 5:34 pm
- Location: Cedar City, Utah
Re: Legal Defense: A History
How do you lick your balls clean in that suit. You don't even have thumbs so put the book down, posser.
'Silver Lions" 1st Battalion, 68th Armor Regiment, 8th Infantry Division/
SFC. TANK CDR. M1A1....HUA!
With Great Speed
Re: Legal Defense: A History
CP membership benefits allow non CP members to assist in that project. A ball caddy, if you prefer, in golfing terms.Sarge wrote:How do you lick your balls clean in that suit. You don't even have thumbs so put the book down, posser.
Haven, Sarge and the rest of us are awaiting chapter 2.
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- Sarge 1/68th Armor
- Member
- Posts: 2429
- Joined: July 10th, 2010, 5:34 pm
- Location: Cedar City, Utah
Re: Legal Defense: A History
Now that's how you do it. Bag and Tag boys, Bag and Tag.
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'Silver Lions" 1st Battalion, 68th Armor Regiment, 8th Infantry Division/
SFC. TANK CDR. M1A1....HUA!
With Great Speed
Re: Legal Defense: A History
Sarge, that looks like a Woodstock orgy. Love cats.Sarge wrote:Now that's how you do it. Bag and Tag boys, Bag and Tag.
Re: Legal Defense: A History
More like a Chinese buffet house orgy...
- Sarge 1/68th Armor
- Member
- Posts: 2429
- Joined: July 10th, 2010, 5:34 pm
- Location: Cedar City, Utah
Re: Legal Defense: A History
Lol.
'Silver Lions" 1st Battalion, 68th Armor Regiment, 8th Infantry Division/
SFC. TANK CDR. M1A1....HUA!
With Great Speed
Re: Legal Defense: A History
B, LOL.
Re: Legal Defense: A History
Chapter 3: The Start of my Political Career
"And that is why, with the whiff of dog urine permeating off every fire hydrant, and the smell of dog poop leaking out of every stupid suburbanite's little baggie dangling from their free hand, I stand before you today to announce my candidacy for Grand Counsel to the Grand Vizier of CatPantsia.
I recognize there is a certain presumptuousness - a certain audacity - to this announcement. I know I haven't spent a lot of time learning the ways of CatPantsia. But I've been there long enough to know that CatPantsia can become more and transform the lives of its members with me in this position.
We will work to elevate the cause of CP and censure through legal means every enemy of our glorious nation state. And where legal recourse fails, we shall claw, scratch, bite and maul until we have our way. I humbly thank you for standing here to listen to me perpetuate my political career. Bless you all."
"And that is why, with the whiff of dog urine permeating off every fire hydrant, and the smell of dog poop leaking out of every stupid suburbanite's little baggie dangling from their free hand, I stand before you today to announce my candidacy for Grand Counsel to the Grand Vizier of CatPantsia.
I recognize there is a certain presumptuousness - a certain audacity - to this announcement. I know I haven't spent a lot of time learning the ways of CatPantsia. But I've been there long enough to know that CatPantsia can become more and transform the lives of its members with me in this position.
We will work to elevate the cause of CP and censure through legal means every enemy of our glorious nation state. And where legal recourse fails, we shall claw, scratch, bite and maul until we have our way. I humbly thank you for standing here to listen to me perpetuate my political career. Bless you all."
- Sarge 1/68th Armor
- Member
- Posts: 2429
- Joined: July 10th, 2010, 5:34 pm
- Location: Cedar City, Utah
Re: Legal Defense: A History
Why does your head keep changing? What we really need is a burlap sack and a few bricks.
'Silver Lions" 1st Battalion, 68th Armor Regiment, 8th Infantry Division/
SFC. TANK CDR. M1A1....HUA!
With Great Speed
Re: Legal Defense: A History
Ah, our first law suit.Sarge 1/68th Armor wrote:Why does your head keep changing?
THE HONORABLE HAV3N<CP>,
plaintiff,
v.,
SARGE 1/68TH ARMOR,
defendant.
YOU ARE HEREBY SUMMONED to answer the complaint in this action of excessive probing and inquiry into the physical appearance of the plaintiff, HAV3N<CP>, and to serve a copy of your answer on the Plaintiffs attorneys (me) within twenty four (24) hours after the service of this summons. In case of your failure to appear or answer, judgment will be taken against you by default for the relief demanded in the complaint.
By:
HaV3n<CP>, Esq., Grand Counsel, Attorney at Law, Auxiliary Pants Inspector
1 Grimalkin Way, Suite #100
Pantoloones, CP Zone 1
CATPANTSIA
Tel: (999) 999-9999 (be advised, the switchboard will direct your call as many of us cats have selected this vanity telephone number)
********************************************************
Relief Demanded: 36 month PetCo insurance policy, 3 belly rubs & a tick bath
********************************************************
- Sarge 1/68th Armor
- Member
- Posts: 2429
- Joined: July 10th, 2010, 5:34 pm
- Location: Cedar City, Utah
Re: Legal Defense: A History
Ok then, I'll use small words so you can understand them.....EAT ME.
'Silver Lions" 1st Battalion, 68th Armor Regiment, 8th Infantry Division/
SFC. TANK CDR. M1A1....HUA!
With Great Speed
Re: Legal Defense: A History
The 24 hour period of reconciliatory admission has passed and, as stated in the summons, you will be required to automatically provide the demanded relief.
Please acquire a 36 month Cat insurance policy and make HaV3n<CP> the named insured. (please check that the insurer is permitted to administer insurance policies in CatPantsia) State your availability for the 3 belly rubs and tick bath. The tick bath may occur simultaneously with one of the belly rubs, however, the belly rubs must be completed on different days.
Please acquire a 36 month Cat insurance policy and make HaV3n<CP> the named insured. (please check that the insurer is permitted to administer insurance policies in CatPantsia) State your availability for the 3 belly rubs and tick bath. The tick bath may occur simultaneously with one of the belly rubs, however, the belly rubs must be completed on different days.
- Sarge 1/68th Armor
- Member
- Posts: 2429
- Joined: July 10th, 2010, 5:34 pm
- Location: Cedar City, Utah
Re: Legal Defense: A History
Lmao. Your still an idiot like your brother, cheese. The only belly I rub is mine after dinner.
'Silver Lions" 1st Battalion, 68th Armor Regiment, 8th Infantry Division/
SFC. TANK CDR. M1A1....HUA!
With Great Speed
Re: Legal Defense: A History
Hav3n is fully capable and well versed in the circumnavigation of the legal system. If he cannot work with the system, he will recreate the system. I move to nominate Grand Counsel Hav3n for the role.
Sarge, no amount of tactical experience will help you here. One minute, you're commanding your armored division into glorious victory, and the next minute, you're finding cat hair in your food and wondering why your pants are all shredded up as you wander the aisles of Walmart asking "Do you have blueberry Zima?".
Sarge, no amount of tactical experience will help you here. One minute, you're commanding your armored division into glorious victory, and the next minute, you're finding cat hair in your food and wondering why your pants are all shredded up as you wander the aisles of Walmart asking "Do you have blueberry Zima?".
- Derick Vinyard
- Member
- Posts: 62
- Joined: July 21st, 2011, 6:42 pm
- Location: Southern California
- SuperTesla
- Member
- Posts: 81
- Joined: December 15th, 2013, 5:40 pm
- Location: Pensacola, FL, USA
- Contact:
Re: Legal Defense: A History
I'm laughing so hard right now at this thread. For real, this should be archived or something.
Long live Catpantsia!
BF player since 2003
BF player since 2003
Re: Legal Defense: A History
It has come to the attention of our Law Firm, Hav3n, Foofy Bombboms and Partners LLP, that our lead attorney, HaV3n<CP>, Esq., Grand Counsel, Attorney at Law, Auxiliary Pants Inspector, has come under some scrutiny of late.
We ask for privacy at this time for him as he sorts through the legal issues.
Despite the fact the media has not observed its disposal, he can categorically deny reports that he has reused the same kitty litter past the recommended 2 week duration.
We ask for privacy at this time for him as he sorts through the legal issues.
Despite the fact the media has not observed its disposal, he can categorically deny reports that he has reused the same kitty litter past the recommended 2 week duration.
- Sarge 1/68th Armor
- Member
- Posts: 2429
- Joined: July 10th, 2010, 5:34 pm
- Location: Cedar City, Utah
Re: Legal Defense: A History
Look Haven is listen too the rules once again.
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'Silver Lions" 1st Battalion, 68th Armor Regiment, 8th Infantry Division/
SFC. TANK CDR. M1A1....HUA!
With Great Speed