Pull up google on your internet explorer, mozilla, safari, whatever...
Type "Find Chuck Norris"
Hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button.
Win!!
Chuck Norris!
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Specialist
- SILENCE! I STAB YOU!
- Posts: 1897
- Joined: December 13th, 2008, 1:04 am
- Location: Phoenix, AZ
- Contact:
Re: Chuck Norris!
i copied the entire first page for youre enjoyment
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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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If you're driving down the road and you think Chuck Norris just cut you off, you better thank your lucky stars it wasn't the other way around.
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Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.
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Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
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Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
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There are now five cup sizes at Starbucks: Short, Tall, Grande, Venti, and Chuck Norris.
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Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
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Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
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Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
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They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot – and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.
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Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
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When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
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The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
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Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.
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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
*
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
*
If you're driving down the road and you think Chuck Norris just cut you off, you better thank your lucky stars it wasn't the other way around.
*
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
*
Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.
*
Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
*
Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
*
There are now five cup sizes at Starbucks: Short, Tall, Grande, Venti, and Chuck Norris.
*
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
*
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
*
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
*
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
*
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
*
Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot – and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.
*
Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
*
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
*
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
*
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
*
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
*
Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.
Re: Chuck Norris!
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/chuck-n ... p-50-facts
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/chuck-n ... p-50-facts
Re: Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris just walks into Mordor...
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Nightstalker
- Retired Admin
- Posts: 4624
- Joined: February 7th, 2010, 9:29 pm
Re: Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris doesnt do push ups .. he pushes the earth down
God bless the past and present men and women in uniform.
Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives. This is Nightstalker and this is EA117.
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Nightstalker
- Retired Admin
- Posts: 4624
- Joined: February 7th, 2010, 9:29 pm
Re: Chuck Norris!
I be smoking some chicken now ... perfect timing
God bless the past and present men and women in uniform.
Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives. This is Nightstalker and this is EA117.
-
Spilling_Guts
- Member
- Posts: 71
- Joined: December 15th, 2008, 7:53 pm
- Location: Raleigh, NC.
Re: Chuck Norris!
Voters from Cancun Mex weren't happy with official representatives, they put forward Chuck Norris instead...
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.