Reconciliation with Hello Server

[[-UG-] Maj. MoFo]

Hi Gents and maybe Gals,

I am an outsider to the trials and tribulations between Hello, Bang, and EA117. I am however friendly with all groups. Can we find ground for forgiveness on all fronts? Can we try to make our fondness of DC the main focus and come together as a group of DC lovers? The group is so fractured and it is so unneeded. Blinky was chatting to me and it made me think to write. It would be so great if we could all come together as a group and prolong the game.

Your bud, Mofo

[BlinkofanEye]

...crickets...

[Trench]

The group is so fractured and it is so unneeded. Blinky was chatting to me and it made me think to write.

Can you perhaps elaborate on what you personally are referring to as some kind of ongoing problem? We're not seeing any kind of issue or animus here at EA117, so just want to confirm that you're talking about something you've observed happening elsewhere.

We can certainly confirm there is no issue between EA117 and HELLO, or any of the Battlefield 1942 server communities for that matter. The events which involved BangBangOw — which started before and continued after his involvement with a HELLO Desert Combat server — are already resolved to our satisfaction, and we're not looking to re-hash or re-litigate just to satisfy Blink's well-established pot-stirring fetish.

Everyone in the EA117 community is free to play at HELLO, and everyone at HELLO is free to play at EA117. And from what I can see, that's exactly what they do. And at least here on EA117 are doing so without citing or encountering any kind of problem, which we hope is the case everywhere.

[[-UG-] Maj. MoFo]

The group is so fractured and it is so unneeded. Blinky was chatting to me and it made me think to write.

Can you perhaps elaborate on what you personally are referring to as some kind of ongoing problem? We're not seeing any kind of issue or animus here at EA117, so just want to confirm that you're talking about something you've observed happening elsewhere.

We can certainly confirm there is no issue between EA117 and HELLO, or any of the Battlefield 1942 server communities for that matter. The events which involved BangBangOw — which started before and continued after his involvement with a HELLO Desert Combat server — are already resolved to our satisfaction, and we're not looking to re-hash or re-litigate just to satisfy Blink's well-established pot-stirring fetish.

Everyone in the EA117 community is free to play at HELLO, and everyone at HELLO is free to play at EA117. And from what I can see, that's exactly what they do. And at least here on EA117 are doing so without citing or encountering any kind of problem, which we hope is the case everywhere.

Hi Trench,

You have always been friendly to me as have most/all others at EA 117. I played a lot at the server under better days. I’m honored that you named a bot after me. Seriously, I appreciate that you did that!

Regarding Hello and EA 117, there seems to be something going on, maybe pride, maybe distrust, maybe resentment, or other, I don’t know, what is preventing the EA 117 players from playing Hello (not to negate the players that already do play there).

With Hello seeming to be the more currently popular server, I was just trying to break the ice of whatever’s going on, and say hey guys, we’re all friends, can’t we game together in this increasingly declining game.

I’m sorry if my post stirred anything, that’s not my intent. We are just the last players of this game and all I wanted to suggest is that coming together is better than staying apart.

Your bud,

MoFo

[HairyRussianDude]

Can you perhaps elaborate on what you personally are referring to as some kind of ongoing problem? We're not seeing any kind of issue or animus here at EA117, so just want to confirm that you're talking about something you've observed happening elsewhere.

Mofo,

To back up what Trench is saying, Hello has been welcome since day 1.

viewtopic.php?t=6862

And will continue to be welcome, as would any server which keeps 1942 and it's mods alive.
We see a community trying to keep a game over two decades old going and embrace anyone who adds to that effort. As I'm sure every single server left does as well.

The outliers to this feeling of community who focus on personal gain and tearing apart the community over vindictiveness and ego will, unfortunately, always be around.
Best just to ignore them and play where you're happy.

[sanchez]

how hard it is just to say can all guys from EA117 come and play at Hello one day as some of us do? I play both servers ,I love you all .
Can we do a game EA117 vs Hello, I would wear 117 tags if allowed, it would be awsome.

[HairyRussianDude]

Personally that difficulty is the same level as playing at Moon or Simple or any other server. I have limited time and I use it here.
I see no reason why my gaming habits should affect you whatsoever. Play where you are happy.

VS nights historically did not draw many but we're open to invites.

[BlinkofanEye]

As you all know, I Like to type and play. And I've been known to cross that line where, 'some things just don't need to be shared/acted on.'

For a long time I looked up to the admin team at EA117 (among other reasons) because they were more tight-lipped and careful about what they said or did than other gaming communities. And they were an example (and probably still are) that I can learn from in that. But in the aftermath of the events of the past year, I've had a growing sense that, just like how I and others can affect people by being too loose-lipped and reactive, I'm feeling affected by how tight-lipped and withdrawn the EA admin team has become.

I can only imagine the feelings of hurt and betrayal that could've come from fostering a community for nearly two decades, to have it then be upturned in this way by someone you worked together with to create it, and someone who you literally brought up as a kid playing on your server. And for it to end thusly due to what seems like nothing more than petty vindictiveness.

My question: why not, instead of using cold, evaluative language, and official statements of "we're okay," "we're just doing our own thing," "people can play where they want to play"...where are the humans behind that? You know you're entitled to admit that you're hurt, and that you want to take your ball and go home? And there'd be no respect lost, at least not from anyone I think is worth caring what they think. And I don' think being a good admin or human being or whatever does not require being an unfeeling machine, but rather the opposite. You can't be of service to sensitive, feeling human beings unless you yourself become one too.

I think the reason it's been hard for me to articulate what I'm about to say is that it's much more obvious when we're affected by someone chat spamming, intentionally tk'ing, or starting a server out of spite. It's a visceral gut punch of a feeling, and something inside me yells "cut it out" and "leave me alone!" But then there's the way that silence and withdrawal can affect, too. Or at least how it affects me, and in my experience, can affect others. I can say that, for me, playing on EA117 in the current atmosphere has started to feel hollow and emotionless, to the point where I'm taken it for granted that "that's just part of playing at EA." It feels lonely.

At first I thought it was because there were far less players here. Or maybe that I was just being too chatty with too small of an audience. Or maybe it was just the memory of the shitty thing Bang did. But now, after having really felt into it for a good year or so, I think it's all those things but also that EA117 has become one of those places where there's an elephant in the room and we're not gonna talk about it. We can talk about in game stuff, about stuff in our lives, but because we can't talk about probably the biggest thing that affects us all as a community, we can be flag cappers, M16 and SMAW shooters, and pilots, but not real, whole human beings. And before anybody corrects me and tells me I can talk about whatever I want, that's not what I mean. I mean a two-way conversation with a real, whole, fully-feeling human being. I know I can write whatever I want.

It's like the difference between trying to relate to someone in game who is spam chatting about what they ate for breakfast and the whole Bob Dylan discography. You can't really "feel" them there in the game with you because they're too busy flooding you and everyone else with other stuff. Well, on the same spectrum, I don't really feel people at EA117 there as much with me anymore, but not because I'm getting flooded with anything - instead it's because of a lack. Instead of too much, there's too little. Just one word or one sentence responses. Just "not here guys." "It's fine." "People can play where they want." Should that be the new name for the server? 'EA117: People can play where they want?\' And what's more, whenever I try to elicit more feeling and maybe some sort of movement or resolution, I get more of "we're fine," "we play where we want," or even worse, "you're making a mountain out of a molehill."

Personally, I'm very sensitive to not being able to talk about the elephant in the room. And I mean this in terms of both being told I shouldn't bring it up, or simply by lack of engagement/withdrawal by other parties. And regarding this topic I've felt pretty powerless and dismissed, especially in the recent months as I've tried to bring up things to EA117, and not just to Bang, and have gotten, what I've sensed, is the withdrawn/disinterested attitude I outlined above. I'm sure my own communication could have also been clearer or less reactive, so hopefully this is a step in the right direction of me at least making sense to the other parties involved.

Also, just to be clear. I'm not telling anyone they "should" be doing anything different. You can still take your ball and go home. You can still tell me until the dogs go home that we can play wherever we want and everything is fine. That your too busy to sink more energy into what's just a game. All I'm saying is, please don't pretend that withdrawing shouldn't affect me (or others.) That's not really your place to decide.

[HairyRussianDude]

Blink,

I sincerely don't understand what you're searching for here, nor do I understand how the participation of a small handful of people on another server makes or breaks a community as what seems to be indicated in other posts.

Are you wanting us to publicly blast Bang? Because we aren't ever going to do that. There is a general attempt to stay neutral as admin. Of course we all have our feelings about the events over the past year, but the roles volunteered for are to keep the server chugging along in both public and private ways and not to bring emotion in to it. You have seen what happened with Bang when you act on emotion. If not wanting us to go off about him, please explain what you are searching for.

I think I understand what you mean about talking. To be clear, there are limits to in-game speech for the sake of playing the game but it is nearly a free for all in the forums. That is what they are here for, to speak your mind and hurl verbal diarrhea like sanchez if you feel it must be done.
There are some things privy to admin I cannot share, but try me. What exactly in the past year have you been curious about or felt went unaddressed?

[Otto Kontrol]

Blink, Not all of us play this game as way to get together with friends. For me it is a form of release from pain. As such, most nights, I REALLY don't want to talk to anyone. I am by nature, somewhat introverted, so common conversations is something I tend not to do. It's nothing personal. I think it comes from hours and hours of long distance swimming before I got sick. It's hard to talk when your face is underwater . So when you get one or no word responses, it is usually because of me not you

oTTo

[Trench]

I can only imagine...

What seems clear from reading through all that is that you apparently have some version in your mind of what happened, and are stymied by why no one else is reacting to those things the way you would react. But since I didn't see it acknowledged anywhere, you apparently have not yet considered that your idea of what happened isn't the reality for these other people from whom you demand exhibition of these specific responses, either.

To put it another way, it reads as "I've been told the story of what effect events were intended to have", and imagination has failed you that the events could have landed any differently than how the storyteller intended.

Not only am I not going to trash anyone, I haven't the need to trash anyone. Again, the events involved here are already resolved to our satisfaction, and we're not looking to re-hash or re-litigate. Feel free to unburden yourself to whatever extent is needed. (Here in the forums at least; maybe not in-game.) But if you're depending on some specific reaction or participation, I'm not sure its realistic to expect that everyone will or should have the same kind that you do.

bleep-bloop

[Trench]

Regarding Hello and EA 117, there seems to be something going on, maybe pride, maybe distrust, maybe resentment, or other, I don’t know, what is preventing the EA 117 players from playing Hello (not to negate the players that already do play there).

At least based on what I've seen, I certainly wouldn't have felt "something is preventing the EA117 players from playing HELLO." I would have said they're moving freely between both servers. If there are specific ones who do not, surely we're talking about a small portion, and not "the EA117 players" at large. Although its not like I've done some extensive roll call, to account for anyone who left and "simply doesn't play anywhere" now.

[Trench]

how hard it is just to say can all guys from EA117 come and play at Hello one day as some of us do? I play both servers ,I love you all .
Can we do a game EA117 vs Hello, I would wear 117 tags if allowed, it would be awsome.

There is already a fictitious if not malicious 'us versus them" narrative which has been put out there, which we have zero interest in feeding into. No real or imagined rivalry need exist between communities in order for everyone to have fun. In fact its probably just the opposite.

So we probably would not take that particular route. Hairy isn't wrong on such events not having worked better in the past compared to simply unilaterally performing an event; but that's just not the first reason that comes to mind for me in this particular scenario.

No, it's not "hard", it's just not what we're going to do. And since EA117 players already join HELLO freely, and HELLO players already join EA117 freely, it doesn't seem like the key to enabling "players to join freely."

[[-UG-] Maj. MoFo]

how hard it is just to say can all guys from EA117 come and play at Hello one day as some of us do? I play both servers ,I love you all .
Can we do a game EA117 vs Hello, I would wear 117 tags if allowed, it would be awsome.

There is already a fictitious if not malicious 'us versus them" narrative which has been put out there, which we have zero interest in feeding into.

I assume the “fictitious if not malicious” is directed at me. I did not ever mean to imply us vs. them, which I’m not asking you to feed into, nor did I mean to start a rumor. I reacting to information provided to me by players involved. I was just trying to have the discussion that we would like a larger crowd at Hello with our friends from EA 117. If EA 117 would become more popular than Hello, I would suggest the opposite, that hello players come to EA 117.

[[-UG-] Maj. MoFo]

Fuck. Here it is in a nutshell. Can we all be friends? That’s it.

[HairyRussianDude]

Nobody here wishes not to be friends. Who figures we are not friends?

Nobody is preventing anybody from playing wherever they wish.
If you look at the link provided to you initially, you will even find endorsement to play at Hello.

In regard to wanting larger crowds, I suggest hitting social media platforms to drum up new players.

Any issues you figure exist do not stem from here Mofo.
Hello is embraced at EA117. Hello has been endorsed at EA117. And EA117 players are not part of a cult and free to play wherever.

[BlinkofanEye]

Hairy, FYI, you come off as extremely angry and patronizing, while seemingly attempting to sound logical and calm.

"Any issues you figure exist do not stem from here Mofo."

So, since when, in the history of like...everything...does the person or group who someone is bringing the issue to, have the ability to decide that that other person's issue does not stem from their own behavior? Have you like sat down and given so much serious thought to what other people are saying, and sought so many other second opinions, and engaged with the person or people directly to such an extent, that even the other people bringing the issue would agree (since they would know better than you what their issue is with you) that you are, indeed, not related to the source of their issue?

Come off it Hairy. Is this how you would deal with a friend who brought an issue to you? Tell them, "the source of your issue is not with me?" What is going on with you guys for fucks sake. The gaslighting is off the charts.

[HairyRussianDude]

Blink,

That is the nature of text. If you're reading it as angry, try reading it in another tone because I am not at all angry.

I will point back to my previous post where I ask what it is you are searching for.
We here do not see the issues you guys do as has been established already. So lets just take what you guys are saying at face value and move on past this back and forth of whether or not there is merit to the concerns being brought up.

What exactly are you looking for here?
For the EA117 admin to go play at Hello?

[BlinkofanEye]

Looking for more softness, feeling, and vulnerability

Less defensiveness and logical/argumentative posturing

[HairyRussianDude]

And what does softness, feeling, and vulnerability look like in this situation in terms of actions taken?

[Trench]

I assume the “fictitious if not malicious” is directed at me.

Nope. Its "directed" (or at least acknowledging) those who advocated a "you should be us rather than them" mentality regarding these servers. You know that's not you, so no, there is no reason for you to think that that's you.

[BlinkofanEye]

To me it’s sad that men in our culture are so obsessed with avoiding vulnerability. I crave real interactions, and when all I get is more posturing about being logical and “on top of the discussion,” all in an order to avoid admission of any emotional hurt, I feel powerless to get through. And I feel angry, because to me it is plainly cowardice to avoid sharing any sort of uncomfortable emotion, lest you be seen as less powerful/less of an authority figure.

And how is that any different than what Bang did, retreating from his feelings of rejection and making a big show about he’s going to ‘win?’

[HairyRussianDude]

I mean this sincerely, in no way am I mocking you.

You would like us to talk about our feelings over the subject?

[Otto Kontrol]

It seems like some of you are looking for all the 'gory' details for whatever reason, whether to take sides or to just chime in on how the admins handled this "situation".
However, not only are we, the general public, not going to get the full details, but anyone not an admin doesn't need to know them.

I actually do play on Hello, just not as Otto K. Just like other's, I use different alias's on different sites and different games. (pullbouy is one of them, I just wonder how many people know what that means, there's a hint in a previous post)

oTTo

[BlinkofanEye]

I mean this sincerely, in no way am I mocking you.

You would like us to talk about our feelings over the subject?

Yes that would be a good start. Acknowledging them is the first step to have any chance to take responsibility for them.